Saturday, May 14, 2011

Time After Time

Change, Change, Change, Change, Change, Change, Change. Its probably the one thing that scares me the most. It can never be avoided, it can never be determined, it can never measured, and it can never be stopped. It can be a good thing and a bad thing, wrapped up in a ball, and sent like a present. I  hate change! HATE with a passion. I never use the word hate but I must say, I truly hate it. I know people always say the word hate should be avoided by saying strong dislike. However, for change, I can not "strongly dislike" it. I must with all my power hate it! Hate it with everything possible in me.

Gandhi once said "Be the Change You Want To See In the World." One of my life time goals is to change the world. I know, it sounds pointless but I want to make this a better place. I want to change the way special needed children are treated in this world. I understand that society has gone a great deal since the time when children were forced to stay in house for having a handicap. But I think we can do more. I think society still needs to do more and it can! I want to be voice for them because they clearly can't. You never see the boy in a wheel chair at the Prom, unless you watch Glee. You never see the girl with downs being popular. Above all, you never see a single one of them in a upper position of a job. I want to change to this! I don't know how yet, but I know I want to.

Every summer seems to bring a new sense of change. It shows the true colors of the ones around you. Its a time when those around you will stay in touch or fade away. Summer allows for the bringing of new friends or the strengthening of those around you. For starters, summer changes the whole way of living. No more does everyone attend school and friends go separate ways for a period of time. We either move back with the parents, take an internship in other parts of the world, travel, stabilize our self, or we stay put. No longer are we able to live next to the ones we call our best friends or family. Summer also changes the relationships we have. It'll make them stronger or rip them apart. There is also the joy of summer flings. The three month relationships that truly have no meaning in them but to gain something that is lacked. 

Recently, I was told I have never changed by the person that means the most to me. However, she is wrong. I have changed. I hate to admit this but I have. Three years ago, my priorities were completely different. I can honestly say I really did care what people thought of me. Now, I'm not so sure. I use to take peoples opinions to heart and worried about the dumbest things. Right now, all I care about are four things: My job, My Running, My Education, and ------.

Besides my train of thought, I have change in the sense of growing up. I look back and realize that I did some childish things in life. I am by far not embarrassed, ashamed, or regret anything that I have done. Those childish things are my past and make me the person I am today. They allow for me to be me. However, I am glad that I have figured out what really matters to me. I'm not saying that I don't do stupid things or engage in something childish every now and then. I am just saying, I have figured out what the smartest thing for me to do is.

However, looking back, there are about three things that have not changed in my life. First ------ -----. She became a part of my life towards the downward portion of my high school career. We knew each other earlier in life but never fully knew each other tell my senior year. We have came and go but all ways find a way back. She's a positive influence in my life and I am very lucky to have her. I can honestly say I love that girl to death. However, we might not be the best thing for each other. Next, my religion. My religion places a major part in my up bringing. It is everything that I am. I am very blessed to have been brought up the way I was. I am not mad or regret my families's choice. Instead, I stand here, glad to say I am a Mormon. Lastly, my best friend Kaitlen! She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am blessed to have the best. She will always be there for anything!

One of the best songs of all time is Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. She wrote about the greatness of changing through time to get back together. This song is one my favorite and it reminds me of a funeral. At one's funeral, you get a sense of the changes that occurred in one's life. The goods, the bads, and the in betweens.

Change will always be there. I can not escape it and instead I need to learn how to embrace it better. For the time being, we make the most out of what we got. We hold on to the things that make us a better person. We look at the phase we are in and grow from it. Here is the change. 

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