Saturday, May 14, 2011

Time After Time

Change, Change, Change, Change, Change, Change, Change. Its probably the one thing that scares me the most. It can never be avoided, it can never be determined, it can never measured, and it can never be stopped. It can be a good thing and a bad thing, wrapped up in a ball, and sent like a present. I  hate change! HATE with a passion. I never use the word hate but I must say, I truly hate it. I know people always say the word hate should be avoided by saying strong dislike. However, for change, I can not "strongly dislike" it. I must with all my power hate it! Hate it with everything possible in me.

Gandhi once said "Be the Change You Want To See In the World." One of my life time goals is to change the world. I know, it sounds pointless but I want to make this a better place. I want to change the way special needed children are treated in this world. I understand that society has gone a great deal since the time when children were forced to stay in house for having a handicap. But I think we can do more. I think society still needs to do more and it can! I want to be voice for them because they clearly can't. You never see the boy in a wheel chair at the Prom, unless you watch Glee. You never see the girl with downs being popular. Above all, you never see a single one of them in a upper position of a job. I want to change to this! I don't know how yet, but I know I want to.

Every summer seems to bring a new sense of change. It shows the true colors of the ones around you. Its a time when those around you will stay in touch or fade away. Summer allows for the bringing of new friends or the strengthening of those around you. For starters, summer changes the whole way of living. No more does everyone attend school and friends go separate ways for a period of time. We either move back with the parents, take an internship in other parts of the world, travel, stabilize our self, or we stay put. No longer are we able to live next to the ones we call our best friends or family. Summer also changes the relationships we have. It'll make them stronger or rip them apart. There is also the joy of summer flings. The three month relationships that truly have no meaning in them but to gain something that is lacked. 

Recently, I was told I have never changed by the person that means the most to me. However, she is wrong. I have changed. I hate to admit this but I have. Three years ago, my priorities were completely different. I can honestly say I really did care what people thought of me. Now, I'm not so sure. I use to take peoples opinions to heart and worried about the dumbest things. Right now, all I care about are four things: My job, My Running, My Education, and ------.

Besides my train of thought, I have change in the sense of growing up. I look back and realize that I did some childish things in life. I am by far not embarrassed, ashamed, or regret anything that I have done. Those childish things are my past and make me the person I am today. They allow for me to be me. However, I am glad that I have figured out what really matters to me. I'm not saying that I don't do stupid things or engage in something childish every now and then. I am just saying, I have figured out what the smartest thing for me to do is.

However, looking back, there are about three things that have not changed in my life. First ------ -----. She became a part of my life towards the downward portion of my high school career. We knew each other earlier in life but never fully knew each other tell my senior year. We have came and go but all ways find a way back. She's a positive influence in my life and I am very lucky to have her. I can honestly say I love that girl to death. However, we might not be the best thing for each other. Next, my religion. My religion places a major part in my up bringing. It is everything that I am. I am very blessed to have been brought up the way I was. I am not mad or regret my families's choice. Instead, I stand here, glad to say I am a Mormon. Lastly, my best friend Kaitlen! She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am blessed to have the best. She will always be there for anything!

One of the best songs of all time is Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. She wrote about the greatness of changing through time to get back together. This song is one my favorite and it reminds me of a funeral. At one's funeral, you get a sense of the changes that occurred in one's life. The goods, the bads, and the in betweens.

Change will always be there. I can not escape it and instead I need to learn how to embrace it better. For the time being, we make the most out of what we got. We hold on to the things that make us a better person. We look at the phase we are in and grow from it. Here is the change. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Highs of Life

The week of finals sees everything it. It sees late night study, test that are just extremely hard, packing, moving, farewells, new adventures, tears, joy, graduations, drunks, and everything else in between. For me, the only thing my final week doesn't see is a good run. I just a week, I was only able to run a total of three days. Three out of the seven got see the greatness I call a stress reducer. However, in just a week, I got a new way to get rid of all the stress. No its not partaking in any drugs or alcohol of any sort. Instead it is an old friend. Listen to them talk about their life, makes mine feel accomplished. The things that they talk about have already been done for me and I closed the door on whats called high school. However, it nice to get a change for a while. Its nice to know that I have already done so much and remember the greatness.

I was watching my favorite show last night: Grey's Anatomy. In season four, episode three, Meredith Grey explains that the things we hold on to, cling to, look for, and hope for are a high for us. They are the things that get us ready for the day and give us a high in life. I have been thinking, what are my highs. What are the things that make me want to live each day to the full potential. I have thought long and I have discovered the things that make me get up every day and make me better a person.

High number one: I want to save a life.
My main goal in life is to graduate with a degree in the medical field. The main reason for this is because I want to know that I made a difference in random people's life. I want to get up every morning eager to know that that day will mean something. I want to go to bed each night knowing that I have done everything in my power to change some one's life and that helped fight for the greatness of living.

High number two: RUNNING!!!
This high might be a love and hate relationship but running has done so much for in just a short time period. Running has showed me how to take care of my body, how to challenge my self, how to overcome some of the turfiest things possible, and has given me a social life. Running has given me the best friends possible! I have the most amazing group of friends ever. Even though this group will never be the same due to the fact that we have all gone different ways this year, I am still proud to call every single of them my friend. Running has allowed for me obtain an education, travel, meet new people, and given me a better out look on life.

High Number Three: Education
Education is probably the only thing I know how to do. I have been in school for most of my life. I have been striving to learn as much as I can in just twenty one years. I have been busting my butt to get the best grades I can possible get. Some times, I don't always get the highest grades, but I do try very hard for them. I try so hard and I get very nervous that none of will get accomplished but somehow it always does. I just want to get better and I want to succeed in life.

High Number Four: She who can not be named
I don't want people to know who this is but there has been someone in life that has done so much for me. She always finds a way to put a smile on my face and always seems to find a way in my life. I know that our lives might not meant to be together but we always find a way to make room for each other. She has done some amazing things for me and I am very great full for her

Here are the things I get up for everyday! I hope this can help you find the highs that get you ready for every day and help you fall asleep to.